The future looks grim for Duke. With games that are consistently either delayed year after year or cancelled outright, the franchise seems to be slowly dying. And this breaks my heart. After spending countless sleepless nights with Mr. Nukem under the watchful eye of my father (who muted the speakers and told me I didn’t need to hear) with Duke Nukem and Duke Nukem 3D, I grew up expecting much, much more. Unfortunately, I’ve been relegated to flops like Duke Nukem: Time to Kill, Duke Nukem: Land of the Babes, and the travesty Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project. None of them ever came close to capturing the hilarity or feel of the first classic “3D” shooter. In spite of that, Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project has somehow made its way from its home on the PC way back in 2002 to the Xbox Live Arcade. It didn’t impress me back then, and now I only fear what tomorrow holds for my favorite wise-cracking, gun-toting action hero.
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Review: Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
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Impressions: Blacklight: Tango Down
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BlackLight: Tango Down is a bit of a tricky little bugger. At first glance, it’s a great-looking multiplayer shooter that is, admittedly, something of a rarity on the Xbox 360’s XBLA service. Powered by Unreal Engine 3 technology, it’s a simple shooter akin to Call of Duty, Bad Company, or just about any other “modern” warfare contender out there, and it seems, at least, that it could stand on its own beside full retail releases. However, scratch the surface and you’ll soon discover that just beneath it’s deceptively shiny surface is a bullet hole-ridden experience that lacks polish where it counts and brimming with generic and lifeless gameplay throughout. Chances are you’ve already played what this game has to offer elsewhere, and probably – despite its budget-conscious nature – for less money.
Review: Naughty Bear
Naughty Bear is a sociopath. When he isn’t invited to a fellow bear’s soiree (Daddles’ birthday party; the event of the year, no doubt) he deals with this rejection in what is perhaps the most unhealthy manner one could think of: the mass murder of a quaint little community of bears. Armed with a variety of weapons (axes, pistols, baseball bats, you name it) he’s on a mission to punish each and every fluffy cuddle buddy on Perfection Island who ever dared to cross him. But he can’t do it alone. That’s where you come in. In 505 Games’ latest stab at an original release, Naughty Bear, takes up the mantle of the “naughtiest” bear of them all. He’s crass, angry, and, well, naughty. He’s suffered humiliation and anguish at the hands of his so-called friends and neighbors, and it’s your job to ensure justice is served…in that psychotic, no-regard-for-others kind of way.
Review: Trinity Universe
Sometimes, all that you need to take a mediocre game and transform it into a colorful, lively romp through time and space is a cast of memorable characters. Take Disgaea, for instance. On its own merits, that title wasn’t the perfect dungeon crawler, but once zany personalities such as Laharl and Etna were tossed into the mix, it became an entirely different monster. Trinity Universe, NIS’s latest offering, is a hodgepodge of that same brand of silliness and rambunctious dialog that has successfully transformed the company’s past efforts into such memorable affairs. Equal parts crazy-for-the-sake-of-crazy and rote grinding, Trinity Universe isn’t the most original offering, but it makes up for any shortcomings with endless charm and hilarious (if not always intentionally so) dialog.
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Review: Blur
Traditional racers never truly impress me. I can appreciate raw speed, brilliantly designed tracks, and slick vehicles, but nothing really brings the “wow” factor for me. I simply coast through them and take the subtle variations in speed, control, and handling with a grain of salt. Another day, another racer. I find myself wishing I could instead fire up a rousing game of Mario Kart and take some scrub out with the dreaded blue shell. And you shouldn’t be fantasizing of another game when one’s already in your disc drive. Alas, the closest I could get to capturing the feeling I got when playing a “realistic” title short of simply running to Sega’s latest mascot offering was pulling off takedowns in Burnout. And Burnout Paradise just didn’t hit the sweet spot.
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