It’s a fairly standard narrative, to be sure, but that isn’t what will keep players coming back for more. Lara (and Totec if you choose to partake in the excellent co-op mode), explores murky caves, ruins, and similarly dismal locations, fighting off ravenous enemies and solving short puzzles along the way. An isometric view akin to Diablo or other classic dungeon-crawlers provides an excellent backdrop for this novel new Lara adventure, and intuitive controls make it a breeze to navigate through, guns blazing.

One stick controls Lara, while the other aims. You can make use of Lara’s signature pistols, Gatling guns, shotguns, and even missile launchers to make short work of enemies such as spiders, giant dinosaurs, and spell-casting demons you cross paths with. In addition, Lara and Totec are equipped with Samus Aran-like bombs (set to trigger at a distance) to make new pathways, obliterate bosses, and make life a little easier for our newly dungeon-crawling heroine. Along the way, you can find augments to upgrade weapons such as gold plating, which is an interesting award for straying from the beaten path and exploring each stage thoroughly.

Lara is equipped with a rope to zip toward rings in order to travel longer distances, as well as Totec’s spear to overcome tricky jumps or other similarly sticky situations. Totec has his own shield and spear, but in the single-player game you needn’t worry about his special abilities. In an admirable twist, you only have to worry about controlling Lara in order to complete the game rather than dealing with the possibility of an AI blockhead weighing you down. Totec only makes brief appearances in cut-scenes or as a cooperative partner, which is part of the reason the game works as well as it does.

And co-op play works extremely well. Lara and Totec’s respective tools work in tandem when both characters are in play to solve various puzzles. You’ll need to make use of all of them in combination to solve certain puzzles, and figuring this out with a friend is really what makes it all so fun. Including, of course, the simple arcade action. This is your typical 1990s-styled top-down adventure, revealing level after level of isometric stone pathways, caves, and plenty of traps. Action awaits at every turn, whether in the form of a quick puzzle, a cooperative dilemma, or oversized arachnids crawling your way, waiting to become fodder for your machine gun.

Besides shining and admirable single player and co-op modes (a rare feat in this day and age), Guardian of Light has an rewarding unlock system that asks players to complete different challenges throughout each level. You might need to finish an entire level in a set amount of time, find hidden enemies, all the skulls, or passing a predetermined score threshold. Simply playing through as a normal gamer without going achievement-hunting you likely won’t be rewarded with many of these accolades, but it opens up a brand new world of replayability. In addition, challenge rooms allow you to find new runes for Lara and Totec, which can augment their abilities and tickle that collector funny bone.

Despite any reservations you may have about this unique departure from the typical Tomb Raider series, Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light is a solid, traditional action game that’s leagues more than a mediocre effort tied to Lara’s notoriety and sex appeal. Personally, it’s one of the greatest things to have happened for Ms. Croft’s career, and it’s a downloadable title, at that. If Crystal Dynamics can continue moving the Tomb Raider franchise forward in this kind of positive direction, then I’d be delighted to become a new fan in the future. For now, I highly recommend picking this game up for solid single and multiplayer action that will dredge up memories of why we all fell in love with dungeon-crawling in the first place.

In this addition to the Ys family, Adol, along with buddy Dogi, are landing at Altago to investigate some strange goings-on such as random earthquakes and vicious monsters with no regard for human life. Obviously these things make living here a total nightmare, so Adol and Dogi are set to get to the bottom of what’s causing this brouhaha. Throughout an admittedly slow beginning for story exposition and traditional RPG mainstays: investigate, talk to everyone, and learn the basics, you’ll progress from sluggish conversational sequences to the real meat of the game: battling – and lots of it.

Though it might be surprising to hear, action isn’t turn-based. RPG die-hards may find that hard to swallow when looking toward a long-running series like this for traditionalism, but they couldn’t be further from the truth. Ys Seven continues the franchise’s long history and plays much more like an action title than a run-of-the-mill JRPG. Full parties are comprised of three members, but rather than prancing forth for a slap-hand fight with your enemy and running back to a safe distance, you control one character at a time in real time.

Each character has a quick-hit combo for use with the face buttons for dealing basic damage as well as charge attacks that deplete SP points in your SP gauge. These special attacks range from a furious flurry of fists to more ranged attacks, but all pack a considerable wallop when dealing with the game’s more beastly foes. Each character’s skill sets can be leveled up through subsequent battles, but there’s a twist. Rather than simply gaining these skills, they’re acquired via equipping new and different weapons. It’s a system I haven’t enjoyed as much since the days of the Final Fantasy IX gem system and one that I particularly loved — it gave me an excuse to continue trying out all the new weapons at my disposal rather than sticking with the one that gave me the best stats. With each character dabbling in a certain weapon type (Aisha with bows or piercing weapons, for example) this is a blessing in disguise, since otherwise you might not be pushed into trying all of the available selection out. I know I’m picky with such things.

The AI handles your other two companions (very competently, I might add) while you pummel enemies into oblivion. You can damage ‘friendlies’ with area-specific attacks, so be careful, but for the most part AI partners know when to keep out of the way and let you take center stage. Combat is fluid and fast-paced, in such stark contrast to most RPGs, channeling modern romps like Kingdom Hearts and the like where even after-combat space is rewarding in that you must pick up all the “phat loot drops.”

Ys Seven is a self-contained adventure, so if you’re new to the series, there’s no need to worry about being lost or having to keep up with the story so far. And this outing is packed with a lot of heart. Unfortunately, it’s not exactly overflowing with new and exciting backdrops, and you’ll be fighting through the same dungeons (five, to be exact) twice, and I can’t find any real discernible reason why this should be acceptable.  At least your second trip is peppered with different dungeon layouts and slightly different arrangements, but even this can’t mask the fact that you’re still backtracking to the exact same locations you’ve already visited.  Nostalgia is one thing, but I think we’ve all grown past this ‘game-extending’ cheat by now, and it’s time the Ys series had, too.

This wouldn’t be the true Y’s experience without a throbbing, synth-heavy soundtrack to go along with it, and that’s exactly what you’ll get with Ys Seven’s surprisingly rocking set by frequent series contributor and ‘gods of metal’ JDK Band.  While not approaching the exquisite metallic cheese of the earliest games, they certainly give it their best shot by providing some of the best tracks in some time, often going well beyond simply replicating the distinctive Ys style and providing actual music that not only fits the game like a glove, but sounds great blasting out of your speakers (or headphones, if that’s your thing).

I have few qualms with Ys Seven’s frenetic action and enjoyable plot line. In fact, it may act as an acceptable gateway drug into the expansive game world that several RPG fanatics are already well entrenched in. It’s a fun, light adventure that feels genuinely rewarding for pressing on, even tossing in some new friends along the way. While not my favorite entry in the Ys series, it definitely sets the bar high and provides an exciting and invigorating experience just waiting for new fans to hop in and see what’s out there.

Gitaroo Man Lives! features the young protagonist U-1 (I know, what an interesting name), who’s your average, every-day adolescent.U-1 has some trouble with bullies, and he can’t catch the eye of the girl of his dreams, Pico. He’s gotten rejected so many times that he’s feeling quite lowly. No one wants to be with him, and he keeps getting treated poorly by basically all of his acquaintances. One day, he happens upon a mysterious dog named Puma, who miraculously knows both how to play the guitar and speak. Puma gives U-1 a few guitar lessons, and passes on to him that he is in fact one of the last remaining Gitaroo saviors of the galaxy! Of course, with great power comes great responsibility, in the form of tons of enemies on U-1’s tail so they can steal his magical Gitaroo away.

Gitaroo Man Lives! is separated into a number of stages that you, as U-1/Gitaroo Man must complete in order to progress in the story. Like any music/rhythm game, each stage features a song from a different genre than the previous one. Each stage consists of phases that U-1 must utilize as Gitaroo Man in order to charge the Gitaroo, block enemy attacks, and inflict damage upon his opponent.

The first phase of each battle is generally the Charge stage, where Gitaroo Man must play flawlessly in order to charge up his health bar in order to stay afloat during the battle. In order to do this, players must aim the analog nub in the direction of an oncoming green line, pressing and holding the circle button in time accordingly. In an almost Morse Code-like fashion, there are long and short holds of the circle button. Often, they will twist in a serpentine motion, forcing you to aim the analog nub in a 360-degree direction in a split-second. If for some reason you stray from the undulating green line, then the note is not counted, and will detract from the health bar.

Right after Gitaroo Man charges the gauge using the aiming and pressing the circle button tactic, it’s time to guard from enemy attacks, appropriately titled the Guard phase. Enemies will “attack” by sending one of the four face buttons Gitaroo Man’s way. They will appear on a gridline and rapidly near the center if you do not press the corresponding buttons in time. For instance, a series of Xs, squares, and circles will become a barrage of attacks on U-1 if you’re not careful or press the buttons with a quickness. For me, this is where most of the challenge lies. It’s also a bit of an issue with the game. For there to be no difficulty selection, you can’t change how hard each level is. In this, a rubber-band effect is created. The speed of some of the buttons nearing the center is absurd, and makes for an achingly difficult fourth level and beyond. It’s as if the default difficulty is set to hard mode. This is of no importance for seasoned rhythm gamers, but I can see where it might frustrate first-timers who have never even tried staples such as Dance Dance Revolution before.

The PSP’s small face buttons are also just a bit awkward to press the buttons with as much speed and finesse as is required of you, so if you are having issues simply decoding which buttons are coming in what order, it will be even tougher to actually hit said buttons. Though I thoroughly enjoyed Gitaroo Man Lives!’ gameplay, this struck me as a bit annoying, but one of the only faults I found with the game.

After you have performed successfully in the Charge and Guard stages you will move on to the Attack and Final phases, wherein you will attack via the Gitaroo the same way you participated in the Charge stage. After the Final phase, the song is over, and you receive a ranking from A-D. Seasoned rhythm gamers can achieve at least a B rating on each level, unless you try really hard not to hit certain notes. Other than that, it will prove a bit difficult for those who are not familiar with hitting corresponding buttons as music plays, or following a line path.

Even though a good portion of the songs are instrumental, they are quite memorable. Genres range from J-Pop (“Flyin’ To Your Heart” is my favorite song on the entire game), to acid jazz, to even speed metal. Japanese lyrics have been changed to English lyrics for American gamers, but the changes are definitely for the better. Songs seem to flow better in English than their previous Japanese counterparts.

Though some rhythm games are infamous for their horrid voice acting, this is one title that actually has entertaining dialogue and voice actors, featuring the same actor who performed Naota’s voice from FLCL as U-1/Gitaroo Man. Audio is sufficiently loud and extremely entertaining, prompting me to go on a week-long search to procure the physical CD so I could enjoy the songs at my leisure rather than playing through the songs over and over just to hear my favorites.

This iteration is much-improved in the graphics department over its PlayStation 2 debut, especially since the game is playing on a much smaller screen. However, they’re not the most impressive 3D graphics one could fine, but they’re so crisp and detailed, packed with color and quirkiness that they really make the game. The art style is that of which you would find in anime or a bubblegum fantasy dream. Costume designs are rather strange and interesting, especially Gitaroo Man’s outfit. Boss monsters and the final head honcho, Zowie, aren’t your standard run-of-the-mill baddies. They really pop due to great character design. Usage of rounded edges and clean backgrounds rather than angular design really add to the quirky mood of the game, and I quite enjoy it.

Even though there is no new content to add to this PSP reincarnation of the PS2 cult classic, Gitaroo Man Lives! is a fantastic rhythm game that boasts rich and colorful graphics along with some of the most memorable music since Katamari Damacy. The learning curve can be quite steep for new rhythm gamers, but for veterans it only adds to the appeal. Innovative level designs contribute to what should be known as one of the most revered rhythm games to ever hit a handheld. New to Gitaroo Man? Pick this hot little reissue up!

Already a long-running series in Japan, Onechanbara follows series protagonist Aya on a myriad of quests to conquer hordes of the undead. Clad in a sexy bikini and trademark cowboy hat, she’s off to defeat thousands of zombies with no regrets whatsoever. Stopping only to reminisce between levels or to clean off her blood-soaked swords, she is a one-woman zombie-slaying machine who isn’t going to let anyone get in the way. If you’re not content with you can also choose to take control of Saki, a more innocently-conceived doe clad in a conservative schoolgirl outfit. Don’t let her outward appearance fool you, however – she is still not to be trifled with.

As for the exact reason Aya and Saki are on a hunt to thwart the undead, the game never makes it decisively clear – however, Bikini Zombie Slayers is in fact a sequel to sister Xbox 360 title Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad. There is a more in-depth story to understand here, though since this is a sequel apparently you are not privy to the information. Each level begins with an indomitable wall of text narrated by Aya (or whomever you’re presently playing as) as insight into their personal plights. These muddled scenes do a very poor job at exhibiting why exactly the game exists, or why there are zombies to begin with – it’s much less work to pore through materials provided by PR agencies or to look it up if you’re that interested, though having done so personally it still makes little sense. This isn’t a game you’ll be purchasing for the story.

As either Aya or Saki, the girl of your choice will begin at a predetermined spot in the game with the objective reaching the end of an extremely linear level. Each level is literally a mixture of simple geometric shapes that can never lead players astray. There are no secrets to be found, nor puzzles to solve. It’s simply you, hundreds of zombies at a time, an entrance, and an exit. To reach the exit, all that’s required of you is to mow through the zombies like Frank in Dead Rising. Accomplishing this should, in theory, be a simple feat seeing that on the normal difficulty zombies take little time to finish off. However, with the Wii’s shaky and unbalanced controls, even simple gameplay like this becomes hackneyed and tired. In fact, many may find themselves with carpal tunnel after only a small amount of time with Onechanbara – and not for reasons you might expect.

To perform a sword attack, gamers simply swing the Wii remote. Aya can switch between using one blade or two via usage of the C-button. As with the majority of Wii titles available, Onechanbara would have been much more fun had you not been required to pump your arms in the air like a power-walker. Since the game is so straight-forward, it’s possible to power-walk your way straight through a level without worrying about dying or getting too badly injured – stopping only to clear Aya’s blades of blood. If you neglect this duty, rather than cutting through zombies, the blade will become lodged inside one.

Aside from aimless slashing, some enemies will require a bit more rhythmic and focused attacks (Mudmen will need their cores ripped out). However, this all feels very shallow in the long run, as the only thing you really need to do is slash away to clear out the level until the end. Occasionally an area of a level will be surrounded by white fencing, ensuring that all zombies within are slain before Aya can move on. This is a cheap ploy on the developers’ behalf, and only serves to annoy. And there you have the game’s basic play scheme in a nutshell. Hack, slash, move on, and reach the goal. Occasionally at the end of a stage there may be a boss battle that makes little sense in context of the story, but it’s nothing that can’t be handled with some fancy slashing.

Power-ups and a leveling system are employed, but it is never quite evident in battle that they have helped out a fair amount. In fact, Rampage mode is the only real heavy damage dealer when it comes to defeating more powerful foes and enemies.

As far as graphics go, this is your typical Wii fare – jaggies are in full force, but the frame rate is at least admirable. The game runs smoothly even with quite a few zombies onscreen at once. Aya’s assets are equipped with the famous bounce that we’ve come to be acquainted with throughout the years, so that should satisfy even the most discerning breast connoisseur – it’s clear that will be one of the main draws for several Onechanbara owners. With that said, graphics are admirable seeing as it’s a Wii title. However, one complaint that can be filed against Bikini Zombie Slayers is its laughable localization. Often, menus and text are so poorly translated that navigating them is a giggle-fest. “Point get!” is a personal favorite, upon leveling up. In the aural realm, cheesy rock music accompanies the carnage, but leaves nothing particularly memorable. All of the voiceovers have been unchanged from the Japanese version, so subtitles are necessary in cut scenes – as for Aya and Saki’s battle cries, you’ll have to guess or learn Japanese.

Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Squad is pure, indulgent cheese. There’s nothing standout about the game as a whole, but its hack-and-slash action makes it worthy of at least a rent if you’re a fan of Dynasty Warriors or Ninety-Nine Nights. Though it certainly isn’t exemplary of the genre, Onechanbara is a fun diversion especially at its value price. It’s a bloody good time that admittedly leaves a lot to be desired, but if all you want to do is kill some of the undead with no pesky story or puzzles getting in your way, then give this game a chance.

Unfortunately, all Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball manages to do is frustrate and annoy players into oblivion. The idea behind the game and the title may well be the best parts of the entire package. First things first: the actual game that you play is not really dodgeball. While it might loosely resemble the classic game we used to play in gym or in the streets while our parents screamed at us to get inside and eat dinner, the only aspect that is retained is the fact that you throw balls. Aside from that, there is nothing within the game even remotely close to the real playground battle royale.

In an attempt to make it a deeper game than it actually should be, a story mode was included. My first playthrough was as the Ninja team (I don’t actually prefer ninjas OR pirates, but that’s all you can choose at first). There are no cutscenes, just scenes with accompanying text to read as your character speaks to various acquaintances and for some reason engages in dodgeball games. I actually found the scenes to be mildly entertaining due to the humor that was implemented, but without voiceovers, scenes, or any movement whatsoever, the entire ordeal quickly turned very bland.

The first matchup I received was against a zombie team in a spooky graveyard. Cartoony, lumbering zombies were pretty sprightly, considering they’re dead and all. I discovered without reading the instructions that all you need to do is run over a ball wherever it lands on-screen and pick it up. Of course, this is no easy task. Sometimes you can be standing right on the ball and your character won’t respond. In later matches where you have multiple balls to choose from, this can be overcome quickly, but when there are one or two and your partner is holding one, this can become quite the annoyance. It happened so often that I began to wonder if I had performed some kind of misdeed so that I wasn’t allowed to make any shots.

After you manage to pick up a ball (and it will take some trying on many occasions), your next move is to hurl it at an opponent. This will whittle away at their health bars, which are displayed on the top right and left corners of the screen. The object is to knock out your rivals by tossing dodgeballs at them with all your might. To do this, you can use regular throws or power shots. Just like your character can catch balls thrown at them, opponents can do the same. Along with the ability to run, jump, catch, throw, and use a simple attack button to immobilize opponents for a short amount of time, each faction has a special ability. For ninjas, you can go invisible. It differs for each group, but it proves very useless most of the time. The time it takes to actually use the attack hurts more than it helps.

It all sounds like a very simple and fun premise, right? Wrong, and let’s not forget it is still nothing like dodgeball. To be honest, it’s more like a brawler that tacked on “dodgeball” because of the ball “weapons” your characters can pick up. Actually putting game mechanics to use requires the patience of a saint. You cannot control the camera, so whatever angle the game decides to give you, you’re stuck with. The only thing you can do is move around the arena and hope that you can still manage to get a glimpse of what is going on. Most of the time you have a bit of a tilted, almost bird’s-eye view that makes it nigh impossible to distinguish your character from your opponents. Making this an infinitely more infuriating move is the fact that when the character you are controlling is knocked out, control automatically switches to whoever is left on your team. This resulted in my moving the stick around frantically just so I could try to figure out who I was controlling and where they actually were on the map. I actually won a match by pressing the throw button randomly whenever I thought I knew where my character was, because it was just that hard to tell.

Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball has a nasty rubber-band effect as well. When you kind of get the hang of how to search for your character like in a Where’s Waldo picture, things get a little easier, and sometimes a little fun, when you manage to correctly judge distance and depth. Just when you think you may have the bizarre control scheme and camera angles down, the game tosses you a curveball and ramps up the difficulty. Not only do enemy teams rarely miss, but they don’t have to worry about not being able to pick up balls. Their aim is deadly and their feet are swift, so it takes a lot of practice to get past stages on harder difficulties, if by that time you even care enough to.

While controlling your teams is horrendous and the camera angles make me want to put the game down quite promptly, I do have to give the game its dues for its cute and endearing graphics. They’re quite nicely rendered for an Xbox Live Arcade title, and very true renditions of how the legions of followers of their favorite factions often imagine them. When you can get a good look at character models, they’re adorable. Environments are fairly varied and colorful, and there are no hints of slow-down. Gameplay is relatively smooth, and without hiccups. It’s a shame that the meat of the game makes everything else a moot point.

If you don’t want to play the story mode, you can play local versus or Xbox Live multi-player matches. However, the only differences are the fact that instead of playing against a computer that rarely makes mistakes, you are pit against friends or strangers who are at the same disadvantages as you are. Multi-player is smooth and runs nicely, but there is quite the dearth of online opponents to choose from. That could stem from the fact that this game is quite the waste of time.

There are 12 Achievements to acquire, ranging from finishing story mode with the group of your choice, catching a ball, countering shots, and performing a power shot. They most definitely are achievements and should be touted as such, because making much progress at all in this game should be considered quite the honor.

Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball set out to be an innovative, humorous game of dodgeball intended for multi-player parties and to poke fun at the war between pirates, ninjas, zombies, and robots. What it accomplishes is hardly worth taking a look at. The addition of manual camera adjustment and more responsive controls would have made this mini brawler a joy to partake in. Perhaps a sequel would learn from its predecessor’s mistakes, because it has quite a lot of potential. The battle between childhood heroes wages on, perhaps to resurface in a better game in the future that’s actually fun.

Enter a world where the evil overlord Zenon has placed all humans under his diabolical control. Everyone has been turned into amoral, unfeeling demons without any remorse for their actions. The plucky young boy Adell seems to be the only human in the world unaffected by Zenon’s curse. As stories like these often go, Adell becomes one of the only individuals fit to take down a threat such as Zenon. Unfortunately, an attempt at summoning forth Zenon brings forth his prima donna of a daughter, Rozalin. Strangely enough, with Rozalin’s help, Adell sets out on an epic journey to locate the overlord and set things straight.

Of course, “setting things straight” means partaking in a multitude of battles with tons of fanciful creatures. Yes, as in so many strategy RPGs before it, most of your time spent in Disgaea 2 is with grids and flashing squares. While the gameplay is inherently similar to the original, there are a few variations on a theme here that will force you to adapt your playstyle and to kick things up a notch. You can summon units via one central panel and you can still assign them to different spaces. Every strat-RPG mechanic you’re probably familiar with applies here. With that said, there are subtle differences that seem to draw from titles such as La Pucelle: Tactics. For example, you must take into account spaces on the board known as Geo Panels. They can be destroyed and will allow for thunderous combos that will eventually award you hefty after-combat bonuses. You can also pick up and throw your teammates.

Yes, you can throw party members. How cool is that?

There’s a wealth of strategy involved in Disgaea 2 that the tutorials do a fantastic job of explaining. And you’ll most certainly need to partake in the tutorials, as this is no Bleach: The 3rd Phantom. This is intricate, unforgiving, austere strategy that requires thinking, time, and patience. Without all three of those things you might as well put the game down and walk away. Only serious players need apply here. With that said, prepare for the potential of some very confusing battles. You’ll need to sink a good amount of time in this game in order to get the most of it. I could go on for pages and pages discussing different strategies in battle in depth, but you can absolutely see for yourself if you pick up this little gem. Of note in Dark Hero Days, you can now change monsters into weapons rather than simply relying on them as allies. This feature was originally available in Disgaea 3 on the PlayStation 3 but has since migrated to the updated port of the previous entry into the series.

Of course, you won’t only be battling within the vast amount of grid worlds. Like its predecessor, Disgaea 2 allows you to traipse through the Item World as well as handy hub world in which you can rest up, drop cash on new equipment, and even propose new legislature in the Dark Assembly to tip the odds in yuor favor. The Dark Assembly is a simply ingenious tool that can aid you in your quest significantly if you happen to get the right bills passed. The more powerful the bill’s request, the more trouble you’re going to have getting it approved. Bribing the members of the Assembly is acceptable, just like in the real world (and I wish I were kidding about that part). It’s a cute and quirky addition to a game that defines the word “unique.” So much goes on in the little world of tainted humand and vicious demons. It’s admirable.

Of course, Disgaea 2 wouldn’t be the same without some adorable, full-color sprites and environments. Gorgeous, vibrant hues make characters pop and the animations are second to none. And as for the dialogue? Just try not to giggle at some of Rozalin’s pretentious comments…or let your blood boil over. The game oozes with such charm and personality that it’s tough to go back to games with more somber tones after playing through something as silly and as whimsical as this. If you’re not digging the English voice cast (which did a great job dubbing the characters), then just switch over to the Japanese audio track. It’s a feature that more games should offer, not just a few, as bad voice acting can make or break a particularly awesome experience and I really appreciated the option here.

Though it should take you upwards of a good 40 hours to complete the main storyline (and easily much more if you choose to play the game the way it was intended), there’s extra content to check out on top of the regular levels included in the original PlayStation 2 edition. You can choose to play as Axel, another character within the mythos, in additional story sequences that feature brand new adventures to embark on to keep things fresh for repeat visitors to the land of Disgaea 2 or to extend first-time players’ enjoyment. There’s no way you should simply breeze through it!

Disgaea 2: Dark Hero Days is a commendable port to one of the greatest handhelds for strategy RPGs. Sure, the DS has got it going on, but when it comes to crisp graphics, colorful characters, and hilarious storylines, you can’t beat the PSP ports of the Disgaea games. With extra content, the punch of the original game, and plenty of deep strategic customization to go around, you should most certainly pick this up if you call yourself a fan of the genre. What are you waiting for? Go now! Rozalin commands it!

In Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game, an adaptation of the wildly popular comic series and feature film, you’ll take up the mantle of Scott, Ramona, or one of the members of fledgling band Sex Bob-omb on a raucous and thoroughly retro-licious journey to take out all six evil ex-boyfriends and one evil ex-girlfriend.

Like the comics and the movie from where this violent rainbow sugar rush of a side-scrolling beat-em-up came, this release relies on old-school gaming sensibilities and cheeky gaming references to create one of the better and more enjoyable book or movie tie-ins of all time.

Unfortunately, it’s not one of the best video games you’ll get your hands on. While this 8-bit brawler practically oozes style and classic gaming goodness, it doesn’t quite make up for its plentiful problems.

You’ll rush through several different stages inspired by the comics and the movie, bashing heads in with baseball bats, destroying peons with your fists of fury, and calling on Scott’s obsessive teenage ex-girlfriend Knives Chau to aid in battle in particularly precarious situations.

Each character has a special move to make short work of enemies. If you look hard enough, you can even take a trip down Ramona’s “subspace highways” hidden behind sheds, doors, and other locations to reach later pieces of levels and skip parts that may be giving you trouble.

After mowing through what seems like an overly long stretch of crazed enemies, you’ll face an evil ex at the end of each stage. Defeat them, and move onto the next location from the game’s hub world.

This is classic gaming 101. If you’ve ever played River City Ransom or Streets of Rage, you should feel quite at home here.

Shops are littered throughout each differently themed world (flying piggy banks, zombies, mascots, you name it) stuffed with power-ups like snacks and CDs to up your experience points, health points, and guts required to perform special attacks.

You’ll need to grab all of the coins enemies leave behind in order to upgrade your character and see this game through to the end.

That’s where the problems begin. For starters, this game is brutally difficult. Playing alone on even the easiest setting exposes you to a hideous montage of humiliation and shame until you can beef yourself up sufficiently to withstand enough blows and preserve your allotted three lives. Once you deplete all three in one level, it’s back to the drawing board with all progress erased, except for experience.

It’s also not a desirable trek to make if you don’t plan on having friends over. The game’s devoid of online cooperative play, so unless you have friends and extra controllers on hand, your mettle as a gamer will be put to the test.

Group that with the fact that you must constantly work to be on the same plane and position as your enemies to land hits, enemies have no qualms about kicking you when you’re down or simply streaming out and making a dog pile on your helpless body and draining health.

I can’t equate the game’s awkward RPG character progression and vicious difficulty for solo players with “real” challenge. It just felt cheap. I felt cheap for enlisting fellow Scott Pilgrim fans to help me out without having completed the game alone first. But as someone who wants to make progress in a game without being cheated out of it, I simply lost my patience.

Perhaps this can also be attributed to the game’s deliberate old-school feel, when gaming was devoid of checkpoints or empathy, but modern times call for modern mechanics. To me, this felt like sloppy design.

It’s a shame such problems are present in an otherwise highly enjoyable offering. Aside from what can only be described as a retro gamer’s dream team of artist Paul Robertson (of “Mechafetus” fame) and chiptune greats Anamanaguchi providing visual treats and aural wonderment, the game serves up a hefty amount of style and flair. It also conjures up a few knowing giggles from players with instances of “Hey, I remember that!” rustled up between the game’s Super Mario-styled stage-select screen, the coins felled enemies leave behind, or the new moves gained with experience points earned in battle.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game is warm and familiar to anyone who can appreciate the gamer culture. Perhaps that’s why despite all the issues, like Ramona to Gideon, I kept going back.

I’m not a masochist; thus, I didn’t enjoy completing the same areas multiple times over because I couldn’t protect myself beyond simply returning fire. Some may call it endearingly challenging, but I call it artificial lengthening of a campaign that could stand to be a couple hours shorter — an hour and a half average to each chapter begins to grate on the nerves after one completes essentially the same objectives over and over. Ten chapters altogether offer a hefty amount of playtime, but halfway through (the end of the Decepticon campaign and the start of the Autobots) you’ll start looking toward other games sitting in your backlog.

As far as the rest goes, it’s all cut-and-dry. Power-ups, health bonuses, and weapon drops are littered throughout the massive metal cityscapes of Megatron. You can phase in and out of your “transformed” states as any of the main characters at will, which usually offers flight, augmented weapons, and just the cool factor of being able to shift whenever you feel like it. Arguably the best part of any Transformers game, eh? Decent shooting mechanics take center stage, as you’ll get caught up in more than a few firefights where enemies continue to spawn, you take them out, then advance. Lather, rinse, repeat. More often than not you’ll pull switches, break doors, and spend a few minutes trying to figure out where the rest of your squad has wondered off to, only to realize they simply went in the direction you should have been heading in the first place.

Whether you choose to take point with the “good guys” or the “bad guys,” at least you have personality-appropriate banter along the way to break up the monotony a bit; Megatron berating his squad is particularly fun and in-character and interaction with Starscream quickly became one of my favorite parts of the Decepticon campaign. The game makes proficient use of the Unreal 3 engine and serves up environments that play about as interesting as they look: metal factory-like locations, gears, machinery, and nondescript locations you won’t remember later. It’s acceptable, but about as stand-out as one of the many stomping grounds seen in Gears of War or Call of Duty.

As much as I enjoyed parading around as favorite characters from my childhood, I just didn’t feel as though this entry was quite worth my time. Compared to the other licensed Transformers games it may as well be a 10 out of 10, but how much does that say, really, when this game is all about what it can mimic in the first place? Even its multiplayer mode (which are in all honesty pretty decent if you have friends willing to play) takes more than a few pages from Gears of War’s Horde mode and bits and pieces from Team Fortress 2 sprinkled throughout. Drop-in and drop-op co-op play was a great feature, but only as it’s become such a rarity with modern games that I’ll take any co-op scrap tossed to me, so I can’t exactly count that as a huge plus here. It will, however, be a huge boon to you if you decide you want to conquer the campaign in a fairly quick manner, because having a friend along for the ride will greatly lessen your annoyance and the toll this long-winded adventure can take.

All in all, this is just your everyday, average third-person shooter with Transformers shinies and eye candy tossed in for good measure. For such a storied and beloved set of characters, I have to say I was hoping for something more. I can’t help but wonder how great of a reception War for Cybertron would get if it hadn’t had such a powerhouse of a franchise behind it. It’s just, well, average. Do your part as a fan and give this a rental rather than a purchase. If you have to have a Transformers video game in your future, you could do much, much worse.

Deathsmiles operates on one simple premise: shoot to kill. Take out all the enemies you can. Dodge. Drop a bomb. Might as well go ahead and tape your trigger finger down, because you’re in it for the long haul now. As any one of the playable characters (ranging from classic moe to sultry vixens) you’re armed with a main attack as well as a familiar that can be used to rain swift doom upon on your enemies as. Different characters possess slightly different abilities. For example, Windia moves faster than Casper. Casper’s attack methods differ from Windia’s. If you’re simply interested in total annihilation, the obvious choice is to go with a sprightly loli who can dart through bullets like nobody’s business. Even from the onset you’re faced with so many layers that reveal how tough it is to actually “master” this game — or any other in the genre.

There’s so much more to Deathsmiles than spraying and praying, which I quickly found out. The complex scoring system keeps you on your toes, ensuring that you pay attention to the multipliers, the items enemies drop upon death, and the hierarchy of points attained from each one after they’re broken or flying through the air. If you plan to get your money’s worth out of this impressive Cave offering, you’ll need to do a bit of research on how to better maximize multipliers and the various bonuses attained from digging a little deeper than a “point Rosa at skeleton and fire” play style. It will take plenty of practice and experimentation to become proficient without losing your multiplier and losing out on massive scorage, but that’s really just part of the allure. For the casual shmup fan such as myself, this was initially a little intimidating, but Deathsmiles is such an accessible game that easing into its more intricate pieces seems only natural.

And the gameplay is certainly what stands out here. There’s so little plot to speak of, it’s a waste of time to regale the uninformed with. Magical witches and lolitas find themselves in a strange alternate dimension. The gates of hell have been wrenched open, letting beasts pour out. Naturally, they use their newfound powers to shoot said beasts. For the short but incredibly sweet time you’ll be spending zipping around the screen, this filmsy narrative quickly becomes ancient history. We all know it’s not about the girls or an attempt at explaining away smiling apples and flaming skulls. It’s about how quickly, beautifully, and efficiently you can take them out. Without dying.

Scratch that last part. You’ll die. A lot. Luckily, infinite continues mean you can take a licking and keep on plugging away at the level until it’s completed, which (fortunately for some of us) lasts mere minutes until a boss fight Once you’ve chosen a girl and have begun climbing throughout the game’s various stages, this quickly becomes evident. Even on the so-called “easier” difficulties you’ll be clipped by more than a few stray bullets, or run straight into a sea of them because you didn’t realize your hit box is actally leagues smaller than your anime avatar would lead you to believe. Guilty!

But you’ll zip through the stages like a bat out of Gilverado once you’ve gotten acclimated. From then on you can check into one of the several incarnations of the game included on the disc. Some different arrangements (previous releases and ports) such as Ver 1.1 allow you direct control over your familiar, who would otherwise remain stationary at your side. Powerup shots and lock-on buttons are also switched around. Most notably, the Xbox 360 mode presents the game with slicker environments and the ability to select different difficulties on “extra” and “final” stages. Admittedly, these modes can be hard to differentiate between and will most likely appeal to the more hardcore set (fans of previous Cave shooters and established importers) but the fact that they’re all gathered here at a reasonable price (it’s nowhere near the small fortune you’d drop on importing the different games) is admirable, and I hope to see more of these compilations coming down the line.

Considering the core ensemble of lolita pretties who star in Deathsmiles, it’s downright admirable that the frenetic bullet-hell shoot-’em-up relies only on its addictive and rewarding gameplay to keep gamers coming back. In fact, you’ll burn through this colorful, zany candy-coated dream world plenty of times before ever stopping to consider its plot or even its starlets. A short, snappy “main” story, a glut of game modes, and challenging achievements for Xbox 360 gamers make this Cave release a fantastic first step that should be one of many in an attempt to bring more like it to the States. If you enjoy (sometimes fruitlessly) bobbing and weaving through rainbow beads of energy as wave after wave continues to advance upon you, then you’ll find something to love about this well-crafted offering.

It’s certainly not because of quality. Memorable characters, heartwarming adventures, and artwork from Akira Toriyama create experiences just as worthy of your time and attention as any Final Fantasy title.

This is further proven in the series’ latest iteration, Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies. It not only echoes what has made the Dragon Quest saga memorable, but is also the first numbered installment to receive a handheld-only release.

You take the role of a Celestrian, an angel-like being condemned to Earth. In a previous life, you donned wings and a halo, protecting and performing good deeds for humans. After collecting enough Benevolessence — the life energy required for sacrifice to the sacred tree — you presented your humble gathering, only for disaster to strike. Now you’re relegated to roaming the land in order to find out what happened, and in true Japanese role-playing game(JRPG) fashion, getting tangled up in a number of subplots along the way.

This barebones plot hearkens back to the RPGs of yesteryear, where it was up to you to tell your own story. For gamers who thrive on a well-constructed plotline or the thrill of uncovering secret alliances, twists, or heartbreaking revelations, this game might be a bit too thin compared to previous installments.

The protagonist, male or female, can be customized right down to armor, weapon, and class specializations. As you equip a new helmet, chest plate, or sword, your in-game avatar changes to display your new duds. Grinding (business as usual) nets you a hefty amount of experience points and ability points to spend on leveling up the class you’ve chosen to master. You can distribute them as evenly as possible or focus on one area to gain new abilities, spells, or augments to your person.

As well as abilities, many different jobs open up for your party members. Much like in Final Fantasy, once you become, for example, a level 40 warrior, you’ll have to start over as a level 1 minstrel should you decide to change. There’s no penalty to switch back to your former profession, so hopping from job to job stays fun and rewarding.

Through traditional turn-based combat with a party containing up to four members, you’ll breeze through the lower levels of the game, buy new equipment, and start the cycle over with each new area. It’s classic and familiar, yet still wholly engrossing. Aside from that, most of your time is spent traversing the world map (no random encounters, as you can dodge oncoming enemies) and fulfilling the several missions available to “acquiesce to,” as the game so delicately puts it.

There’s nothing mystical or enigmatic about what’s being asked of you in the long run. You’re given a destination, a task, and often a reward for coming back successful. That’s what makes Dragon Quest IX perfect for playing on-the-go. It’s great for small chunks of gameplay here and there, as it’s easy to complete an important quest in a small amount of time and leaves you wanting more. At it’s heart, it’s a traditional JRPG done well along with being a brilliant adaptation designed for portable-game players.

It’s unfortunate, then, that part of what makes this game work so well in Japan is also what cripples it for gamers elsewhere.

Localization has never been much of an issue for this series, and DQIX boasts a well-written script with native Japanese puns and quirky jokes left intact and tweaked accordingly to make sense for English-speaking gamers.

However, cultural differences make the intuitive multiplayer mode nearly worthless. The “canvass for guests” option allows you to put the DS in sleep mode, where other players’ characters you pass by (also others with DS handhelds on sleep mode) will stay at the Quester’s Rest Inn on your cartridge. This can result in some interesting rewards, but let’s be realistic — finding anyone with a copy of Dragon Quest IX is a needle in a haystack in most locations. What are the odds their systems will be set to standby as well?

The standard multiplayer mode also requires friends with a copy of the game and their own handhelds, so it’s safe to say that unless you know several hardcore Dragon Quest fans, you won’t be putting much of the multiplayer to the test.

Again, this has much to do with population density and cultural differences, so it’s not exactly a fault, but a peculiarity that speaks volumes of the social aspects of gaming in different areas of the world.

The game also suffers from a bit of slowdown, especially when you bring the bland, user-created non-player-controlled party members into the picture. Some musical tracks can grate on the nerves after the third or fourth run-through, and admittedly, even though translated beautifully, some jokes simply fall flat. But on the larger scale, these are relatively small nitpicks and ones that don’t inherently affect the fun you’ll have grinding, running errands, and developing your character.

Dragon Quest IX is an upbeat adventure with semi-modernized gameplay that relies on old-school sensibilities. It’s not perfect, and it’s not the greatest entry in the series to date, but it’s certainly a worthy play for fans of the series and JRPG purists looking for their next trip down memory lane.